We are Known

Last night at my bible study we talked about the Spirit.  Our discussion was mainly about certain situations we hear the Spirit most clearly and how we know when the Spirit is telling us something.  I woke up thinking about this because last night I did not have much of an answer to either of these questions.

This thought really only lasted about 5 seconds before I slipped into thinking about all the things burdening me.  Yesterday I read 2 Corinthians 3:17 where it says "Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom."  I was suddenly struck by the fact that I don't feel free... not at all.  I feel like I am carrying the burden of every area of my life and it is draining.  I spend so much time trying to "fix" myself so everything can work out the way "it is supposed to", that I leave no room for the Spirit and like the verse says that's where freedom is.  Spirit=freedom.  

So going back to my morning melt down, in the midst of me pouring out my heart telling God all the things weighing me down, I heard in response a simple "I know".  That was all I needed.  What I had been longing for is that response from someone telling me they completely understand my feelings and my hurt.  Here all along I forgot my Father knows.  He knows it all!  He comprehends the mind games that go on in my brain everyday, He knows my insecurities, and He understands the pain life causes me.  

The Spirit saying those two words to me set me free.  When I am in the darkest places, that is when I can hear the Spirit most clearly.  Just as C.S. Lewis said "God whispers in our pleasures, but shouts in our pain.”  I have found in my suffering that is where I feel my Father most near.

The Relief of Grace

It seems to happen to me on a pretty regular basis that I wake up in the morning and my first thought goes something like, "If I could just run away and not deal with today, I would love it." When I look deeper into why this seems to be a trend, it makes sense. How I define myself so often lies in how I perceive others think of me that it turns into an evil game of reaching the standard of perfection. Then when I don't reach it, I failed.

Why would I want to deal with the issues of what the day may bring when I never reach my perfection standard? This just translates to me failing at everything throughout the whole day! There is no joy or peace in that.

Today happens to be a really bad case of feeling sorry for my failing self. One of those days where you replay every situation that proves you failed. I was scrolling through my News Feed on Facebook and there was the solution. I have heard the song "You are More" by Tenth Avenue North plenty of times, but it felt so different this time. Often my definition of being a new creation is that all the "huge" screw ups I had before knowing Jesus don't define me. I forget that the sin that I commit now STILL does not. Like it says in the song the choices, mistakes, and problems that happen, do not define me.

God's grace is sufficient for all of this.

This means I have the freedom to take risks and fail. Also that I can be who God created me to be without fear someone won't accept me. Failing and rejection say nothing about who I am because Jesus settled that one for me and He tells me who I am.

At the beginning of every day there is grace abounding.